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I don’t know when it happened, but all of it sudden it seems like we’re in a competition to see who is “the busiest.” I can’t recall even making myself eligible for this contest. Now, every time I talk to one of my friends, I find the discussion quickly turning into a “mirror, mirror on…
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There isn’t enough time in the day to achieve my dreams. That’s all. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk! I’m kidding. I have more to say than that. It’s horribly cliché, but it’s true: there really isn’t enough time in the day to accomplish everything. If I want to squeeze in: going to the…
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Granted, I’m not even 30 yet (just two months away from officially not knowing any of you selfie taking, oversharing, Tik Tok making kids anymore. I will be joining Brie and the girls on Wednesday at the corner table for a 2pm glass of sauvignon blanc post Soul Cycle while we see how many times…
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Not pictured: My puckered anus in an attempt to not release my bowels. I recently met my favorite celebrity: the icon and legend, Mariah Carey. I’ll pause for a moment to allow you to gather yourself from the floor and resume a normal pace of breathing. Good? No, no. Take your time. Ok? Wonderful. We’ll…
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I just passed an acapella group in front of Neiman’s in coordinated red and green velvet pants and I didn’t find myself using strangers as human shields to avoid accidentally making eye contact with the token beatboxing black guy who went to an Ivy League and exclusively dates white women now (it’s always that one)…
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It was a Hump Day like all the rest with the exception of the one 6 weeks prior, when Luke was fired after it was discovered that he was using his lunch breaks to feverishly masturbate in the handicapped stall. Well, it wasn’t so much that he was masturbating at work, which was a bit…
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The other week I had a moment where I went to rub my nose only to feel a thin, hardened line of confusion dancing across the weird protruding part of my nose or “tip” as ones who are more versed in human anatomy call it. A crusted booger. No doubt about it. As it was…
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With the close of another quarter upon us once again, it is with the most exuberant and loving of hearts that I give you a dash of what’s been going on in my world with the Season of Deborah Quarterly newsletter! Yay! I’ll start with the big news, which I’m sure you all have heard…
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I’ll fight you if I see this foolery on your profile. Jk. I’ll keep swiping as I’m far too passive for alladat… Unless you sexy then none of this applies. Just toss them pics up and I WILL make myself right at home in your dms. ‘Sup. Ahhh, le online dating. A way to allow…