I don’t know why I chose this beautifully highlighted and organized ass planner as my header image as if I’ve EVER had a planner that was this immaculate.

Exactly one year ago today (give or take a few days) I moved from New York back home to Atlanta. The decision was motivated by a few factors:

First, it’s just so incredibly expensive to live in New York! We’re really overselling that dream. Especially now with the internet and the ability to do almost anything anywhere in not only the country but the world. Before you start with the “oh, you didn’t give it a chance” foolery, I should point out that I was a New York resident for seven years in total over the course of two stints: one for five years when I was a young, glossy-eyed youth that was happy to put up with 27 roommates and walking among the filth and the flarm that encompasses the every day of New York life and a second for two years when I was a bit older and well-versed enough in the world to understand I could be a lot of other places that would offer way more value for my meager dollars. I love New York, but being there isn’t necessary/I’ll move back when I’m massively wealthy and can afford the lifestyle I deserve.

And second… I guess I really had only one reason. 

Money. 

Cash rules everything around me.

It was a grand day when I realized “I don’t have to live like this” after seeing a mouse scurry across my pristine floors into the heater that was falling off of the wall in the studio apartment of which I was paying just under $2,000 to lay my raggedy little head in at night located in one of the last few budget-friendly (I can hear you laughing at my calling a $2,000 monthly rent “budget-friendly” and it hurts my feelings) neighborhoods in New York, Harlem. Thus, I said “fuck this shit!” as yet another mouse ran his dumb furry body into my electrical zapper killing himself and my New York dream. I did what most of my millennial brethren have done in hoards in recent years– kindly got the fuck out and went back to my momma’s house.

Like the two of you that frequent this blog, September 2019 Pharra had no idea what lay ahead in 2020, but I did set out with a few goals: I wanted to finally pivot my career, clear my debt, and buy a house by the summer. Some real adult goals. Nothing too ambitious and all very achievable. I don’t believe in setting unrealistic goals. No need to disappoint yourself any further than daily life does.

Thankfully, I have a very supportive mom that was more than happy (a little too happy perhaps…) to allow me the privilege of moving back into her home to eat all her food, waste her electricity, and make the house smell like sauteed onions and garlic on a regular basis. I only know how to make about three meals. That’s an opportunity most don’t have and I’m grateful for that. My mom allowing me to move back home, not sauteeing onions and garlic although that too is a privilege of which I am very grateful. This was especially a godsend considering how wild 2020 ended up becoming.

To quickly recap my last year I:

• Got out of $20k in credit card debt (I know. I know. Your girl was liiiiiiiiiving! And she also didn’t entirely understand how credit cards work.)
• Actually saved money, but I didn’t get that house because
• I lost a job (that I admittedly loathed. It wasn’t the company, it was me. Don’t fall into roles, kids. Actually think about what it is you want to do with your life before you become an old bitter Betty working a job and not investing in a career like I was doing). This actually set me free because then I
• Wrote three tv pilots (of which two are actually good) and one short film (which is also pretty good. Don’t be ashamed to toot your own horn).
• Developed and produced one of the aforementioned pilots into a digital series and finally
• Still have no clue what I’m doing with my life

Not too shabby. There were definitely some tough personal moments in the last year, but harping on those doesn’t progress my story. And yes, outside of my bubble the world went to complete shit not only with Covid-19, but with the continued murders of Black people by horribly underqualified cops and a nation that continues to divide itself. Who even saw all of that coming?

At the genesis of the pandemic, I wrote about how I was seeing lockdown as an opportunity to focus on myself and my projects as opposed to a social hindrance. I maintain those sentiments even as I type this nary a dime wealthier and minus a well-paying job. Again, I don’t like to harp on the negatives. Life is too short. We take the learnings from them and focus that energy into some successes. 

I know you’re not going to just casually drop that you were $20 thousand dollars in debt and then not circle back on it.

You’re right. I know it caused you some alarm. It certainly scared me when I opened my credit card statement to try to understand why it seemed like my balance was never going down even though I was faithfully paying that $35 minimum every month. Where was my credit for that D- effort?? Turns out only paying the minimum on my card each month had me set up to clear my debt just as I was prepping to entire retirement. Fun!

It sounds so incredibly stupid to say (type) out loud because it’s like “Yeah, duh! Logic, you idiot!” but live below your means. 

Sit with that statement.

We aren’t taught this in schools and a quick glance on the internet certainly contradicts this statement with all the lavish vacations, clothes, and whatever other garbage people seem to be wasting money on constantly encouraging us to spend and do more even if our bank account is practically on life support. I was only able to get control of my finances by sitting down and making a strict budgeting plan which included moving home (a move no 30-year-old really wants to make) and taking out a loan. I’m not being paid by any of these services so I’m not calling out the particular institution I used, but I recommend using one to get your credit card debt in order ONLY if you intend to be diligent in your payments. First, the interest rates are probably much lower than what your credit card company offers. Don’t be afraid to shop around and compare. Second, you set up how you want to pay off your loan. Whether it’s one year, three years, five years, etc. Because you’re making aggressive payments (not that minimum $35 crap designed to keep you in debt forever), you will actually have your loan paid off within that time frame. In my case, I was able to pay off my three-year loan a year and a half early by putting every extra dollar I had into it.

I know living at home isn’t feasible for everyone. However, if you are able to and you have parents that you’re cool with it, I highly recommend biting the bullet and heading back home to get your finances in order. It’s not ideal and to be fair, if Covid-19 hadn’t shut down about 90% of the things I enjoy doing outside of the home, I probably would have lost my mind months ago with FOMO. I didn’t need to be tempted to spend money I wasn’t making anyways.

Living at home in your late 20s and early 30s is not sad and it doesn’t mean you haven’t “gotten your life together.” It’s financially responsible (provided you aren’t just bumming off of your parents and actually have things going for you. Otherwise, yes it is sad). I was able to build a nice little safety net in savings because my expenses took a drastic dip, which ultimately ended up coming in handy once I became a Covid corporate casualty. Without that, I would have been very SOL especially considering how terrible unemployment is in our country. This is an entirely different rant, but the fact that our government thinks people can really live off of less than $100 a week is laughable. We need to do better.

Tell us about what you’ve been writing since you clearly haven’t been writing here.

Hey, thanks for asking! Again, this is something that sounds very stupid to admit in public, but I never really considered that writing could be a career. Not that it is for me just yet as I don’t make nearly enough from writing for the government to consider it my occupation. Yes, I knew people wrote things I enjoyed and I knew they got paid for it, I just never saw myself being someone that writes things others enjoy. 

Weird. 

In the last few years, I realized (where’s my horn?) I’m a pretty decent writer. I never considered it a skill because it’s always been rather easy to just take the words in my head and then throw them into a word processor (bet that phrasing took you back to a warm computer lab with Mavis Beacon, who it turns out wasn’t even real at all! Sorry to kill your childhood like that). The moment the ink dried on my “we don’t know this girl anymore” papers at my former job, I pulled out the collection of ideas and notes I’ve been keeping for years, selected one, and started working on a script. I finished it. Then, I picked another idea, wrote a script, and finished that. Then, I did it again. And again. After I was like “great, now what do I do with these?” so I set them aside and did nothing for a few weeks while I watched what people were doing online with the limited resources digital production offered. Ultimately, I ended up convincing myself that I too could put on a digital production. It seemed low effort enough for my lazy self and would allow me to at least do something with one of my scripts.

Omitted for length: a long, rambling description about the many nights spent maniacally typing until 3am convinced I was putting pure genius into WriterDuet only to review the night’s progress the next morning (afternoon), realize it was all pure rubbish, and start again. This was going to be followed by another long, rambling description about the countless hours spent panicking, planning, auditioning, rehearsing, and editing after locking a script.

Shit is hard.

I’m really not one for editing and retooling as one can tell by viewing the numerous glaring grammatical errors and nonsensical statements in this post alone (and she had the audacity to call herself a decent writer!), but that’s part of the process. An annoying part, but part of it. In the end, I created something that I and (most) of the people that worked on the project can be proud of and at the very least, I didn’t let a good idea go to waste.

And that has been the year. Some plot twists. Some moments that were predicted from the opening scene. Still a lot to go and hopefully I’ll get a guest appearance or two in the next season. Guess we’re leaving this on a “To Be Continued…”